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Pretending to Sleep

by Sarah Elizabeth Haines

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1.
Losing Game 03:36
Must be a pretty picture I paint It’s hard not to laugh for the shame Hands bloodied from trying to tear down your walls Voice hoarse from calling your name Tonight I think I’ve learned my lesson Would that it always would be Unseeing eyes cannot lead the blind On deaf ears falls no melody I can’t wake you if you’re just pretending to sleep Sometimes I try all the same It’s always a losing game It’s taken a long while to see All you are you always must be I can’t say that it really does much to erase All the heartache you gave to me Sometimes I make mountains of molehills Sometimes I’m full of clichés Sometimes you’d rather bury your head in the sand Than hear a word I have to say I can’t wake you if you’re just pretending to sleep Sometimes I try all the same It’s always a losing game Must be a pretty picture I paint It’s hard not to laugh for the shame Hands bloodied for trying to tear down your walls Voice hoarse from screaming your name It’s always a losing game It’s always a losing game
2.
I have learned the hard way to keep everyone at an arm’s length Now I must say I’m afraid I have spent a long time lost in my own skin When I think it’s safe to breathe I get chased back in I’ve learned it’s easier to hide than to let someone inside But something in you makes me want to try And I know one day You could be the one to break my heart Yeah you’ll break my heart and yet anyway I would rather it were you than anyone if my heart is gonna break It’s the oldest story that only fools fall in love But when I close my eyes at night you’re the one I’m thinking of And so maybe I’m a fool But I’m a fool in love with you And I know one day You could be the one to break my heart Yeah you’ll break my heart and yet anyway I would rather it were you than anyone if my heart is gonna break It won’t always be easy It won’t always be good But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try To make it all we could And I know one day You could be the one to break my heart Yeah you’ll break my heart and yet anyway I would rather it were you than anyone if my heart is gonna break And so maybe I’m a fool But I’m a fool in love with you
3.
Petrified 03:35
Turn to stone before my eyes I’ll turn to stone beside you We are all just petrified Petrified There’s a forest in Sonoma Ancient and premature Immediately immortalized But lost into the earth Turn to stone before my eyes I’ll turn to stone beside you We are all just petrified Petrified Liquid earth is turning cold now It takes a hundred thousand years By then we’ve died a thousand times Still bound up in fear Turn to stone before my eyes I’ll turn to stone beside you We are all just petrified Petrified Will it all just fade away? We’re paralyzed by The things we cannot say Turn to stone before my eyes I’ll turn to stone beside you We are all just petrified Will it all just fade away? We’re paralyzed by The things we cannot say…
4.
Let Me Down 03:51
I do think it’s time to go Starts out innocent; we know What do we do this for? The same old thing happens over and over I’m walking out that door Don’t worry baby it will be better when we’re sober This time We shouldn’t see each other again Don’t know why But clearly we can’t just be friends We shouldn’t see each other again We shouldn’t see each other again Didn’t mean for it to be This way Really thought that we could be Okay How did we get so far? Unlucky in love don’t know what to believe in Don’t want to break your heart But you broke mine first so I guess we’ll call it even This time We shouldn’t see each other again Don’t know why But clearly we can’t just be friends We shouldn’t see each other again We shouldn’t see each other again It’s your scent in my hair It’s your taste on my lips This is just so unfair I can’t get rid of it That feeling I get when you’re not around It only compares to when you let me down And you always let me down
5.
Postcard 04:36
You’re wandering the streets In a city I haven’t seen Summer heat rising from cobblestones I’m imagining the way You could have spent your day And wishing you didn’t have to be alone But we’ve got nothing but Time between us, baby We’ve got nothing but time Spent a long while on the phone But next week you’re coming home Just send me a postcard before you get back to me You’re an ocean away Under arches in alleyways Every corner there is something new and ancient At the right time of day There exists a certain way The nostalgia the light conjures tests our patience We’ve got nothing but Time between us, baby We’ve got nothing but time It seems it’s moving slow But you’ll be home before you know Just send me a postcard before you get back to me I still see the moon you see Have a glass of wine for me In a street so full of history You have all those naked marble statues to see We’ve got nothing but time between us baby We’ve got nothing but time It’s not fair to say I miss you but I do wish I was with you Just send me a postcard before you get back to me
6.
Hey, why’d you walk away Hey, why’d you walk away Oh you don’t know me very well do ya Oh I guess we’ll wait and see It’s happened to the better men before ya Oh baby you just can’t handle me Ooh ooh ooh You have no idea of what you’re doing Honey please don’t waste my time I’m not worried bout which way we’re going Oh sugar it happens every time Baby, baby Oh maybe it’s the city Or maybe it’s just not the right time of year Maybe I’m not your type of pretty But then honey how did we end up here?
7.
Blue 04:23
Blue, it’s a day for you Blue Like the air Like my mood Like his smile And it’s the ache that makes it taste all the sweeter To know you never were mine Time just keeps floating by Time Can love really be such a crime? And it’s the ache that makes it taste all the sweeter To know you never were mine Blue like the blood running thru my veins Like the new winds of change Like a sad truth And it’s the ache that makes it taste all the sweeter To know you never were mine But there’s a sense I can’t shake Such a heaviness, a waste Cause baby, we could have been great You and I and blue
8.
All I Know 03:44
All that I know Is we truly know so little of what once was sure certain things you thought you wanted when you get them seem to leave you wanting more That’s all I know All that I know you never know which moments are the ones you need to hold things that seemed of little consequence now appear to be the ones that mattered most you can spend a lifetime thinking of the things that are to come you’ll wait forever for the moment that is sure to be the one And when you see it it might be that it will pass before you know you’ve let it go til next time comes Keep moving on all that I know I have learned from walking up and down this lonesome road it’ll wind you up and spit you out four miles back from where you were before keep walking, though, where else you gonna go? All that I know You shouldn’t be afraid to give up all you thought was yours They say life is for the living but we never quite prepare for what’s in store you can spend a lifetime thinking of the things that are to come you’ll wait forever for the moment that is sure to be the one if you let it pass then you might one day wake up wondering what it all was for Don’t doubt it when the time comes I’m sure you’ll know
9.
Bound To 04:34
I’ve gone and fucked it up again This might be something that I can’t Do Follow the rules The game gets harder every time you play Maybe I should save this for another day But I I’m bound to get this right If I just keep trying I’m bound to get this right Baggage isn’t such a cool excuse Could try to carry it but what’s the use Ooh Make your move The words won’t always make sense right away Don’t you try to save this for another day I’m Bound to get this Right Even if it takes Time I’m bound to get this right Damage doesn’t always need to leave a bruise It helps us harden or just stay confused But either way the only way we lose Is the day we refuse to keep moving through Cause I I’m bound to get this right If I just keep trying Even if it takes Time I’m bound to get this right…

credits

released November 8, 2019

Produced, recorded and mixed by Kevin Salem
The Distortion Tank, Woodstock, NY
Drums: Joe Magistro
Bass: Mike Duclos

Strings on Break My Heart and Blue:
Austin Burket and Hayden Oliver, violins
Sarah Elizabeth Haines, viola, arrangements
Buffi Jacobs, cello
Recorded by Sam Merrick in San Antonio, TX

Album Design by Britannie Bond, with photos by Elizabeth Maney

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Sarah Elizabeth Haines New York, New York

Trained as a classical violinist and violist and influenced by a wide range of music such as Tom Waits, Laura Mvula, Laura Marling and My Brightest Diamond

Though currently touring the US with Hamilton, Sarah has been in the NYC scene for years as a member of bands Emanuel and the Fear and Bellehouse
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