Pretending to Sleep

by Sarah Elizabeth Haines

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03:36
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03:35
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03:51
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04:36
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04:23
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03:44
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04:34

credits

released November 8, 2019

Produced, recorded and mixed by Kevin Salem
The Distortion Tank, Woodstock, NY
Drums: Joe Magistro
Bass: Mike Duclos

Strings on Break My Heart and Blue:
Austin Burket and Hayden Oliver, violins
Sarah Elizabeth Haines, viola, arrangements
Buffi Jacobs, cello
Recorded by Sam Merrick in San Antonio, TX

Album Design by Britannie Bond, with photos by Elizabeth Maney

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Sarah Elizabeth Haines New York, New York

Trained as a classical violinist and violist and influenced by a wide range of music such as Tom Waits, Laura Mvula, Laura Marling and My Brightest Diamond

Though currently touring the US with Hamilton, Sarah has been in the NYC scene for years as a member of bands Emanuel and the Fear and Bellehouse
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Track Name: Losing Game
Must be a pretty picture I paint
It’s hard not to laugh for the shame
Hands bloodied from trying to tear down your walls
Voice hoarse from calling your name

Tonight I think I’ve learned my lesson
Would that it always would be
Unseeing eyes cannot lead the blind
On deaf ears falls no melody
I can’t wake you if you’re just pretending to sleep
Sometimes I try all the same
It’s always a losing game

It’s taken a long while to see
All you are you always must be
I can’t say that it really does much to erase
All the heartache you gave to me

Sometimes I make mountains of molehills
Sometimes I’m full of clichés
Sometimes you’d rather bury your head in the sand
Than hear a word I have to say
I can’t wake you if you’re just pretending to sleep
Sometimes I try all the same
It’s always a losing game

Must be a pretty picture I paint
It’s hard not to laugh for the shame
Hands bloodied for trying to tear down your walls
Voice hoarse from screaming your name
It’s always a losing game
It’s always a losing game
Track Name: Break My Heart
I have learned the hard way to keep everyone at an arm’s length
Now I must say I’m afraid
I have spent a long time lost in my own skin
When I think it’s safe to breathe
I get chased back in
I’ve learned it’s easier to hide than to let someone inside
But something in you makes me want to try

And I know one day
You could be the one to break my heart
Yeah you’ll break my heart and yet anyway
I would rather it were you than anyone if my heart is gonna break

It’s the oldest story that only fools fall in love
But when I close my eyes at night you’re the one I’m thinking of
And so maybe I’m a fool
But I’m a fool in love with you

And I know one day
You could be the one to break my heart
Yeah you’ll break my heart and yet anyway
I would rather it were you than anyone if my heart is gonna break

It won’t always be easy
It won’t always be good
But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try
To make it all we could

And I know one day
You could be the one to break my heart
Yeah you’ll break my heart and yet anyway
I would rather it were you than anyone
if my heart is gonna break

And so maybe I’m a fool
But I’m a fool in love with you
Track Name: Petrified
Turn to stone before my eyes
I’ll turn to stone beside you
We are all just petrified
Petrified

There’s a forest in Sonoma
Ancient and premature
Immediately immortalized
But lost into the earth

Turn to stone before my eyes
I’ll turn to stone beside you
We are all just petrified
Petrified

Liquid earth is turning cold now
It takes a hundred thousand years
By then we’ve died a thousand times
Still bound up in fear

Turn to stone before my eyes
I’ll turn to stone beside you
We are all just petrified
Petrified

Will it all just fade away?
We’re paralyzed by
The things we cannot say

Turn to stone before my eyes
I’ll turn to stone beside you
We are all just petrified
Will it all just fade away?
We’re paralyzed by
The things we cannot say…
Track Name: Let Me Down
I do think it’s time to go
Starts out innocent; we know
What do we do this for?
The same old thing happens over and over
I’m walking out that door
Don’t worry baby it will be better when we’re sober

This time
We shouldn’t see each other again
Don’t know why
But clearly we can’t just be friends
We shouldn’t see each other again
We shouldn’t see each other again

Didn’t mean for it to be
This way
Really thought that we could be
Okay
How did we get so far?
Unlucky in love don’t know what to believe in
Don’t want to break your heart
But you broke mine first so I guess we’ll call it even

This time
We shouldn’t see each other again
Don’t know why
But clearly we can’t just be friends
We shouldn’t see each other again
We shouldn’t see each other again

It’s your scent in my hair
It’s your taste on my lips
This is just so unfair
I can’t get rid of it
That feeling I get when you’re not around
It only compares to when you let me down
And you always let me down
Track Name: Postcard
You’re wandering the streets
In a city I haven’t seen
Summer heat rising from cobblestones
I’m imagining the way
You could have spent your day
And wishing you didn’t have to be alone

But we’ve got nothing but Time between us, baby
We’ve got nothing but time
Spent a long while on the phone
But next week you’re coming home
Just send me a postcard before you get back to me

You’re an ocean away
Under arches in alleyways
Every corner there is something new and ancient
At the right time of day
There exists a certain way
The nostalgia the light conjures tests our patience

We’ve got nothing but Time between us, baby
We’ve got nothing but time
It seems it’s moving slow
But you’ll be home before you know
Just send me a postcard before you get back to me

I still see the moon you see
Have a glass of wine for me
In a street so full of history
You have all those naked marble statues to see

We’ve got nothing but time between us baby
We’ve got nothing but time
It’s not fair to say I miss you
but I do wish I was with you
Just send me a postcard before you get back to me
Track Name: Let's Try That Again
Hey, why’d you walk away
Hey, why’d you walk away

Oh you don’t know me very well do ya
Oh I guess we’ll wait and see
It’s happened to the better men before ya
Oh baby you just can’t handle me
Ooh ooh ooh

You have no idea of what you’re doing
Honey please don’t waste my time
I’m not worried bout which way we’re going
Oh sugar it happens every time
Baby, baby

Oh maybe it’s the city
Or maybe it’s just not the right time of year
Maybe I’m not your type of pretty
But then honey how did we end up here?
Track Name: Blue
Blue, it’s a day for you
Blue
Like the air
Like my mood
Like his smile

And it’s the ache that makes it taste all the sweeter
To know you never were mine

Time
just keeps floating by
Time
Can love really be such a crime?

And it’s the ache that makes it taste all the sweeter
To know you never were mine

Blue like the blood running thru my veins
Like the new winds of change
Like a sad truth

And it’s the ache that makes it taste all the sweeter
To know you never were mine
But there’s a sense I can’t shake
Such a heaviness, a waste
Cause baby, we could have been great
You and I and blue
Track Name: All I Know
All that I know
Is we truly know so little of what once was sure
certain things you thought you wanted when you get them seem to leave you wanting more
That’s all I know

All that I know
you never know which moments are the ones you need to hold
things that seemed of little consequence now appear to be the ones that mattered most

you can spend a lifetime thinking of the things that are to come
you’ll wait forever for the moment that is sure to be the one
And when you see it it might be that it will pass before you know you’ve let it go
til next time comes
Keep moving on

all that I know
I have learned from walking up and down this lonesome road
it’ll wind you up and spit you out four miles back from where you were before
keep walking, though, where else you gonna go?

All that I know
You shouldn’t be afraid to give up all you thought was yours
They say life is for the living but we never quite prepare for what’s in store

you can spend a lifetime thinking of the things that are to come
you’ll wait forever for the moment that is sure to be the one
if you let it pass then you might one day wake up wondering what it all was for
Don’t doubt it when the time comes
I’m sure you’ll know
Track Name: Bound To
I’ve gone and fucked it up again
This might be something that I can’t
Do
Follow the rules
The game gets harder every time you play
Maybe I should save this for another day

But I
I’m bound to get this right
If I just keep trying
I’m bound to get this right

Baggage isn’t such a cool excuse
Could try to carry it but what’s the use
Ooh
Make your move
The words won’t always make sense right away
Don’t you try to save this for another day

I’m
Bound to get this
Right
Even if it takes
Time
I’m bound to get this right

Damage doesn’t always need to leave a bruise
It helps us harden or just stay confused
But either way the only way we lose
Is the day we refuse to keep moving through

Cause I
I’m bound to get this right
If I just keep trying
Even if it takes
Time
I’m bound to get this right…

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